If You Can't Be Clever Be Tall And Have Sharp Elbows

Football is a cruel mistress. After City's 5-1 victory away to Bishop's Stortford I was really not in the mood to watch City lose to Eastleigh 0-2 last night. Before the match it looked so easy - Eastleigh have so far lost to Braintree, St. Albans, Thurrock and Dover. Not exactly the form of a team you would expect to be making another playoff run. Yes, the evidence clearly pointed to an easy win for City, especially if you ignored Eastleigh's 5-0 victory over Weymouth and their 6-1 victory over Bromley.

Unfortunately, although I paid my money to watch City take on the Eastleigh that had lost to Thurrock, the one that had stomped on Bromley showed up. I had been looking forward to seeing the 'Spitfires' struggle or lose their composure, but instead they put on the sort of unimaginative but forceful display that has made them strong contenders in recent seasons in the Blue Square South.

Manager Ian Baird has assembled a football team that is truly remarkable, at least in one particular way: they are very tall. Football is renowned for being a sport that people of any size can excel in, but at Silverlake Stadium they are only interested in one size - big. I would not be surprised if any trialists for the club have to pass a height test before they are allowed to touch the ball. Pele, at 5 foot 8 inches, would not have gotten a look in. The good news is that if basketball every overtakes football as the national sport of England, Eastleigh will be well positioned to make the transition.

It is not always pretty, but in non-league height can often trump the free and open play that fans really want to see. Creative passing, flair, and skill can overcome lumbering giants, but finding eleven players who can do this at this level is a difficult task. Any club that is able to do this probably won't stay non-league for very long.

Okay, here is something good. Despite Eastleigh's overpowering physical advantage, they only won last night because of City's defensive errors (this is good news if you are willing to look at it the right way--trust me). At seven minutes Gethin Jones fell down in front of the goal while marking Andy Forbes. Eleven minutes later someone left Tom Jordan unmarked on a free kick. Eastleigh were able to frustrate City's offensive efforts very effectively, but they needed a bit of luck to actually get a ball in the net themselves.

If Eastleigh do develop a more convincing attack up front they are going to be a tough contender for the playoffs. Unlike Hampton, who were content to sit back and kick anything moving until they could get some luck with a counterattack, Eastleigh did surge forward as a unit with a good formation. Because of their height they were able to advance the ball as much with their heads as their feet. In fact, whenever an Eastleigh midfielder got foot to ball his first instinct appeared to be to boot it as far forward as possible. I'm not going to be lining up to buy the Eastleigh season highlights DVD, but that doesn't mean it isn't effective.

I can't really fault Eastleigh for playing being tall or playing boring football. It is their right. I can, however, fault them for liberal use of elbows, shirt pulling, and I can fault Trevor Challis for punching Darren Edwards. Eastleigh probably would have won last night merely on the strength of their own physical advantages and City's defensive lapses, but why rely on just that when elbowing your opponent in the face is effective too?*

Eastleigh fans have a tough life. They have to watch boring football played in a ground with the ambiance of a light-industrial business park. They shouldn't have to be ashamed of their team's behaviour. It's not too much to ask.

*Please note: shirt pulling, punching, and elbowing your opponent's face should not be attempted unless you can do it covertly, or unless the match referee is Derek Eaton. **

**More about Mr Eaton tomorrow.