The Best Program in Sports (Other Than the Title)

There are few things that the average British male enjoys more than settling down on the sofa on a Saturday evening to watch the BBC's Match of the Day. How this has become such a fixture of British life I'm not sure, because there are also few things the average British male enjoys more than settling down with a pint at his local pub at about the same time on a Saturday evening. Despite being mutually exclusive activities, both are institutions deeply ingrained in the national pop culture consciousness and will continue so for many years to come.

If you are American, like me, the title Match of the Day probably reminds you of ABC's classic Saturday afternoon baseball program, Game of the Week, which highlights a much anticipated, single match. You would probably think, 'Hey, this is a program that is going to show one really good match, the best one of the day!' You would think so, but you would be wrong. Match of the Day (or MotD) is actually a highlights program covering all Premiership matches played on a given day. You might think that this doesn't make sense, that the title of the program clearly indicates that there is a single match of the day that is going to be featured! Right?! I mean, am I wrong?! What happened to accuracy in broadcasting??! What is wrong with this country???!!!

Okay, I'm fine. I'm going to go lie down now.

I don't actually know why Match of the Day is called Match of the Day when it is really should be called Abridged Versions of All the Matches Played of the Day, but it is just one of those things you have to learn to accept. Besides, when the BBC covers England matches or FA Cup matches they call this Match of the Day as well, and on these occasions it is actually coverage for just the one single match (except it isn't highlights then, it is the complete game). Confused? Well, that's just the way it is here. There is an unspoken rule in the UK that as long as everybody understands what something actually is, the accuracy of its name is irrelevant.

By this point you might be thinking that MotD is a really rubbish show. I haven't really sold it so far. It is, in fact, totally brilliant. It is the best sports program I've ever seen. You may not believe me but let me explain it to you.

'Highlights' on American television are rarely more than a minute long and usually only show you a handful of key moments in a game. ESPN will regularly condense a two-and-a-half hour baseball game into a couple of double plays, a stolen base, a home run, the manager looking tense from the dugout, and a closer throwing the final pitch of the game. All the while the presenter uses the same cadence and tone of voice as the used car salesman. Baseball is a game of strategy, deception, concentration and skill, but if you only saw the ESPN highlights you might think it was a close relative of professional wrestling.

MotD is completely different. The most important difference is that MotD takes its time. It is usually about an hour and twenty minutes long and never covers more than seven matches. There is time to show a bit of context, and to show the full build up to the important moments. It is also edited very skilfully so that it is not obvious when a large section of play has been passed over. In fact, if you did not know the game well you would be forgiven for thinking that football matches were just five to ten minutes long. Another difference is the commentary. This is done by the regular match commentary team from Radio 5 Live. They cover the highlights as if they were a match in progress. They do not allude to the final score before it happens. They do not shout. They do not try to impress you with how clever they are. They treat you like an adult.

After the match highlights there are usually two or three dressing room interviews. These are rarely of any value, but that is not MotD's fault. British sportsmen suffer the same affection for pat cliches as their American counterparts. Usually the gist of it is either, 'we won because we scored more goals,' or, 'we lost because we scored fewer goals.' Thankfully the BBC put the match statistics on the screen while they are talking. The best strategy is to pay attention to the stats and ignore the interviews.

If you are still awake after the post-match interviews then you are in good shape because there is usually some very good analysis to come. This is led by the host, former England and Leicester City striker Gary Lineker. He is joined regularly by Alan Hansen (ex Liverpool), Lee Dixon (ex Arsenal), and Mark Lawrenson (also ex Liverpool). They all compete with each other to see who can strike the most relaxed pose possible on the studio furniture. They also, between them, usually managed to explain the key moments of a game in such a way that you know you will be able to speak credibly and knowledgeably with your colleagues at work the next morning. Lee Dixon, to my mind, is especially good at diagramming plays on the screen. All of this is done without shouting, sneering, or making overtly snide remarks, at least by American standards.

But the BEST thing about MotD is that the BBC is very careful not to reveal any results during the program before the highlights are shown. If you can manage to get through an entire Saturday without hearing any results (this is becoming increasingly difficult, but can be managed especially in some remote parts of Wales) then there is a real treat in store for you once the evening news is over. A whole day's Premiership action unfolds before you with as much intensity and excitement as if you had watched each match live as they happened.

In 2004 the BBC created a new program for Sunday evenings called Match of the Day 2 (right away we have another nomenclature problem, but I'm over that now so I'm going to pretend I haven't noticed). This show is even more relaxed than the Saturday version. This is because the show is hosted by the overexposed, but immensely likable Adrian Chiles. Although blessed with a face for radio, he manages to be amusing without bringing down the tone of the show. The best innovation of the show, however, is that rather than use just pundits there is usually a current player or manager sitting in on the panel. Listening to an active manager comment on other team's play is usually very enlightening. Amazingly, when they are not talking about their own performance they suddenly become thoughtful and interesting.

I know I am gushing a bit, but MotD is a wonderful institution. If you are reading this outside of the UK, make sure you find a way to see it soon. It is so wonderful, in fact, that it is no surprise the BBC have recently created another show to cover the lower divisions called The Football League Show.

Wait! Wait a minute! A show that covers the Football League (the lower three divisions of English football) called The Football League Show??!! Am I missing something, or has the BBC suddenly developed a liking for the straightforward and accurate?

Well, maybe. The truth is that The Football League Show is so dire I can't be bothered to get excited by the title. I'll tell you why soon.