In Praise of Fish and Cleethorpes

Saturday's FA Cup First Round Proper match against Grimsby Town was my first ever visit to Lincolnshire. I'm ashamed to say, it was only my third foray north of Birmingham. On that count alone, I looked forward to the journey.

Of course, most everyone else I know thought the idea of going to Grimsby and back in a day was crazy. The conversation where I broached the idea with Mrs Nedved began with her saying, 'You're not actually going to go, are you?' It was not just the distance people were shocked by. When I said I was going to Grimsby several people acted with the sort of disbelief you might get from someone if you said you were off to Bagdhad for a weekend getaway (they were, of course, all soft Southerners). This sort of reaction only made me more interested, especially as none of the people I spoke to had actually been to Grimsby. Two days before the match I did run into a friend on the train who knew a bit about the area. He had lived in Hull for six months. I asked him what Hull was like.

"Shite," he said. "The only good thing about it is it isn't Grimsby." (I should point out that this friend in particular hails from Yorkshire).

Thankfully, none of this put me off.

The coaches hired to take Bath City supporters on the long journey north arrived at Twerton Park at 7am. There were already over a hundred of us there at this point, rubbing sleep from our eyes and stamping our feet about to kick-start our circulation. I settled into a window seat in Coach 2, pulled out my copy of Four Four Two, and prepared for the five hour journey.

After our rest break, we were treated to a viewing of Ken Loach's Looking for Eric on the coach's video monitor. This was an especially appropriate film to watch - and not just because it is an excellent film about football. Ken Loach is an avid Bath City supporter. He can always be spotted on the terraces at Twerton Park when he is not on location filming. Over the summer he invited one of the film's stars, Eric Cantona (yes, that Eric Cantona) to come to Twerton Park for the day for a fundraiser and press event. I found out later that while we were on the coach watching his film, Ken was in a car driving east from a shoot in Liverpool to attend the match as well. Eric Cantona sent him a text wishing Bath City good luck (yes, that Eric Cantona).

The film finished towards the end of our journey, and as I looked up I realised we were in Lincolnshire. It was much flatter than the Somerset and Wiltshire hills I am used to, but otherwise still recognisable as England. We entered Grimsby at about noon (and straight away saw four signs promoting Young's frozen fish), but we did not stop there because Grimsby Town actually play in the adjoining town of Cleethorpes. The coaches pulled up on a side street behind Blundell Park and I stepped out into Northeastern England for the first time...

...and almost immediately into a big pile of dog poo. I almost stepped in dog poo several times in the first minute, actually. It seemed to be everywhere. I began to wonder if I should have heeded the warnings I had received after all. Thankfully the dog poo did not continue for long and I did not see any more for the rest of the day. I figure we were just unlucky. The area had simply been visited by a pooch on a high fibre diet, and nothing more.

Once we had successfully run that gauntlet I joined a small party on the search for fish and chips. Grimsby Town fans had been extolling the virtues of their fish and chips on the Bath City forum almost from the moment the draw was announced. We had been advised strongly to avoid cod and plump for haddock. 'Cod here is only fit for pet food and Yorkies,' one supporter warned.

No one could remember which shops had been recommended so we all piled into the first one we saw - the 'Mariners Fish Bar.' Once we arrived more Bath City fans followed, and before long a big queue formed. The Turkish proprietors dealt with the situation readily, but they set their own rules for us to follow. The two City supporters in front of me in the queue asked for two 'small haddock and chips.' The man behind the till looked taken aback and began to wag his finger at them. 'No small! Match day is only large day!'

Large haddock and chips all around, then. As I waited my turn to collect my food the queue snaked past the doorway to the kitchen. I saw a man setting out a dozen portions of haddock that looked like they had just come out of the ocean that morning. They were not even battered yet. We took our steaming hot portions out onto the pavement to eat them in the watery sunshine.

It was amazing. It was not only the best fish and chips I've ever had, hands down, but it was one of the most delicious things I've ever eaten. The fish was incredibly fresh, but it was more than that. My brain couldn't figure out what the reason was exactly, but it made all the fish and chips I had had previously seem bland and greasy by comparison. Mrs Nedved, who is an accomplished food writer, says the unaccustomed taste must have resulted from the fish being fried in lard (you can read her own blog about food here - and yes we do sit around on evenings comparing blogs). Another City fan, known as the A18, was standing next to me as we rhapsodised about our meal. 'Will this get mentioned in the blog?' he asked. 'Absolutely,' I said.

After fueling up I went for a wander. A Grimsby fan on the City forum had hoped that we would enjoy Cleethorpes' 'dilapidated scruffiness' on our visit. After a few minutes exploring I began to wonder if the people of Lincolnshire have some sort of inferiority complex. Cleethorpes did not look dilapidated or scruffy to me. It certainly has nothing on the dilapidated scruffiness of Westbury or Trowbridge. Everything was reasonably clean and most of the shops appeared to be occupied. I wonder what the Grimsby fans would make of Twerton?

There were only two things I could see in Cleethorpes that a right minded individual might object to. One was a McDonald's, but if you write a town off for having one of those you are setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment in life. The only other thing was that there were signs of industry in the far distance: ports, power stations, etc. It was all clean and tidy, though. It was not covered in broken glass and rusting razor-wire. Is heavy industry an eyesore? It keeps us in employment and warm at night, so I can't see what the problem is. Perhaps I'm just being American.

Blundell Park was not hard to find because, like Twerton Park, the designers have chosen to hide its charms behind the facade of a giant warehouse. I walked into the club shop to buy my ticket. As a non-league fan I found the idea of buying a ticket a bit strange. The idea that I might actually sit in my allocated seat was even stranger. Heck, I wasn't planning to sit down at all. Admission plus a program came to an even £20.

And what an odd program! I was impressed that they had managed to keep the cover price down to £2, but less than impressed by the cover. This was a keepsake I was planning to keep for the rest of my life. It would automatically take pride of place in my program collection. And what is on the cover? A Grimsby Town player who looks like he has just smelled something really unpleasant to his left. The player in question is one Nathan Jarman, and I find it hard to believe that there isn't a stock picture of him somewhere that doesn't make him look like he is trying to pass a watermelon. The reason he is on the cover is that inside the program there is an article about his 'injury woe.'

Grimsby Town are going through a tough time. They have only won one match at home this year. The manager has been sacked without a replacement. The fans are suffering. Let's cheer them up with a feature about a striker with a pre-season metatarsal injury! Way to go!

Inside things are even less cheery. The first two articles begin with a short, perfunctory welcome for Bath City, but mostly consist of reasons to be depressed if you are a Grimsby fan. The chairman explains that the four previous managerial appointments have not worked out, but sheds no light on why they didn't work out. He then basically admits that there isn't a replacement in sight. 'The prime candidate may not have applied for the vacancy. The Board also has in mind one of two targets that have not applied so far.'

The interim manager talks up the match with, 'We are in a no win situation,' and 'I expect Bath will come here today fancying their chances.' I bet he gave a great pre-match talk to the players.

I spent the last hour before the match hanging around the Blundell Park Hotel on Grimsby Road. It was a pub we had been encouraged to visit because it is happy to have visiting supporters. It must have been really happy, though, because there were so many visiting supporters inside I couldn't get near the bar. Across the street was the largely empty Imperial, but we had been warned off going there before we arrived. Although there was a sign above the door promising a 'warm welcome,' there was also a sign saying 'Home Supporters Only.' I found out later that several City supporters had been invited in by the landlord. I guess the 'warm welcome' sign won out.

I stood outside the Blundell Park Hotel for most of an hour. There were lots of City fans coming and going, and as time progressed more and more Grimsby fans. Because both clubs have black and white striped home shirts it was hard to tell who was who until they got close. Despite the reputation of League clubs, we never felt threatened or heard any crude remarks. By half past two, everyone began to drink up. Banners were unfurled. Flags were waived. A group of fans gathered to cross the street and broke into, 'We are the Bath, we are the Bath, we are, we are, we are the Bath!' It was time to go.

Other than the dog poo, I honestly couldn't find anything to complain about in my time at Cleethorps. I know it isn't on the tourist trail, but if this is a typical league ground experience then I think the Bath City fans will enjoy it once we get promoted (some day!).

I would not be surprised if it was not typical, though. I would not be surprised if Grimsby is one of the better places in the league to visit as an away fan (it certainly will be tough to top for fish and chips!). I say this because everyone inside and outside the ground was very helpful and very friendly. If I'm honest, there are a lot of non-league grounds that could learn a few lessons from a visit to Cleethorpes.

I took away two thoughts from my visit. Somehow the people of Northeast Lincolnshire have gotten a reputation they do not deserve. It is a nice place and I would gladly go back. Secondly, somehow the people of Northeast Lincolnshire have gotten a football club they do not deserve, either. Hopefully the mysterious quality a Grimsby manager needs to succeed will be discovered by the board soon. It is the least that such a nice place deserves.

Rovers Return

When City's pre-season fixture list was announced the most attractive looking entry was tonight's meeting with Bristol Rovers. Not only are Rovers a League One team (three levels above Bath City) but they are also a local rival. There are close ties between City and Rovers as well, as Rovers were tennants at Twerton Park during most of the 90's after a fire destroyed most of their home ground. If nothing else, a big crowd of 'gasheads' (as Rovers fans are known) was expected.

Rovers' pre-season fixture list read rather differently from City's, though. They list Torquay United on 18 July, Cheltenham Town on 21 July, Crystal Palace on 24 July, and a Liverpool XI on 3 August. No mention of City, and matches with fellow league clubs Cheltenham and Palace right before and after our match. It became clear to everyone that the Bristol Rovers side that was going to show up at Twerton Park tonight would be made up of youth players and reserves.

So clear was it, in fact, that not many people showed up. The attendance was not to announced but I would guess 250 at the most. For me, after an absence from Twerton Park of nearly three months, I was just glad to be there and didn't really care who City was playing. The late July sun was shining bright when I arrived, and I celebrated the new season with a purchase of my first Bath City replica shirt. I wandered over to the 'popular side' terrace to watch the teams warm up and grab a cup of tea in a styrofoam cup from the 'tea bar.' Twerton Park has a wonderful view of the centre of Bath, and on a warm summer evening with the blue sky above and a nice cup of tea in hand, it is hard to beat.

Despite following football closely for a couple years now, I don't feel qualified to execute a decent match report on this blog. There are people who do it much better at the Bath Chronicle, and especially 'Kelstone Kopite' on the Bath City forum. Although with each match I am able to understand the intricacies of the play much better, large sections of play can still pass me by in a bit of a blur. I'm sure my 'vision' of the pitch will improve with time, but I really mean for this blog to be about being a football fan as much as about the football itself, so for now I'm going to stick to writing about being a fan.

The non-league experience is supposed to be more intimate, and tonight there were two such moments that I will remember especially. One was at the beginning of City's warm up session. Matt Coupe, one of our excellent defenders, gave me a friendly nod when he saw me standing in the terrace. Oh sure, I was the only fan there at the time, but it was not just a perfunctory nod. He recognized me. In all my years of following sports, I've never had a player on a team I've supported recognise me. Matt and I had had a short conversation last season before an away match against Eastleigh. He had noticed my accent and wondered how City had acquired an American fan. Not being used to talking to players, I was a bit tongue tied and must have come across like an inarticulate dork. I suppose even inarticulate dorks are memorable. Despite our conversation six months previously, I still was taken aback, and I instinctively looked behind me to see if he was nodding to someone else. Someday it may seem normal to be on acquaintance terms with the players, but I hope it does not happen too soon.

The second moment came at half-time. I bought a small portion of chips (fries) and was wandering over to my regular spot on the terrace. In the same general area one of the club directors I know named Phil was chatting to Ken Loach. Most Americans will not know Ken Loach, but he is a famous film director in Europe. He has won the Palm D'Or at the Cannes Film Festival, and he has recently released a very well received film called, 'Looking for Eric' about the legendary Manchester United player Eric Cantona. Ken is a dedicated City fan, and a former director himself. I see him at most matches, but I have always adopted an air of non-challance, as if I saw famous film directors on a regular basis and had grown bored with the concept. It is, of course, a complete act. So Phil and Ken are chatting and Phil waves at me and says hello and I wave back and then Ken waved at me too! Now, I really did not think that Ken Loach could be waving at me. Sure, he might have a vague recognition of me from seeing me on the terraces in previous matches, but it could be nothing more than that. I was so sure he could not be waving at me, in fact that I ignored him. There could be nothing more embarrassing than returning a wave of a famous film director that was meant for someone else. But then, Ken waved again! A bit tentatively, of course, because I had just ignored him, but there was no doubting it now. I said hello to him too. Then Phil took one of my chips, and so did Ken Loach! I shared my chips with Ken Loach! This required a brief hiatus so that I could text this information to several people I know.

This should not have been very surprising, really. By all reports Ken is a very kind and generous person. He has given City incredible support over the years. Last year he convinced Hollywood star Robert Carlyle to host an 'Evening with Robert Carlyle' in the clubhouse as a fundraiser, and just last month brought Eric Cantona (ERIC CANTONA!!!) to Twerton Park for a similar event. If he is going to do that, then he is the sort of nice guy who is going to say hello to a fellow fan, especially when we have both made the effort to turn up for a friendly against Rovers' reserve unit on a Wednesday night. Still, it made me a bit giddy.

The match itself was a very relaxing experience. For once, I was not worried about whether City won or lost. I was hoping to familiarise myself with the new signings, and hopefully get some reassurance that a good squad was coming together. The first half saw Rovers get two goals, both of them after City's defense had momentarily lost its shape. Other than those two lapses, City's defense held up well against the higher league opposition. There were some excellent tackles, especially from new signing Sido Jombarti. 'Sid' has a long legs that look too fragile for the rough and tumble of non-league play, but several times he effortlessly wound them around the ball from a prone position to relive a Rovers mid-fielder of the ball. He was probably the most impressive of the new players on the pitch, but there was a ex-Rovers veteran called Browning who showed a lot of leadership in mid-field and a promising looking local striker named Jamie Tayor, recently of the Swindon Town youth team. The second half began with a lot of substitutions and the balance of play shifted. In fact, City managed to mostly keep the ball in Rovers' half except for a few fast breaks. Actually scoring goals has a struggle for City in the last few seasons, and tonight was no exception. With only a few minutes of regular time left, though, returning striker Darren Edwards chipped the ball over the Rovers' keeper to give his team a respectable 2-1 scoreline. All in all, I, like most other City supporters I suspect, felt reassured by the performance of our team.

And Ken, if you are reading this, my name is Ned and you can have my chips any time!